best of 2020

Where to begin

• zoonotic diseases
• lethal foreign policy - Qasem Soleimani (Jan), Mohsen Fakhrizadeh (Nov)
• UIA Flight PS752 - see above
  
• Wortman massacre - Portapique & Colchester County Nova Scotia (Apr)
• morale-crushing Snowbirds crash - Kamloops BC (May)
• Canadian military report - dire conditions in Ontario seniors homes (May)
• wildfires - Australia, California/Oregon/Washington
  
• Beirut economic collapse & explosion (Aug)

It's Only August - albawawa.com

• US embassy, Jerusalem - Trump "moved the capital of Israel to Jerusalem" for "the evangelicals," lagging 4yrs behind John Baird (Oct)
• Israeli government collapse, again (Dec)
• new strain covid-19
• Alberta government's shoddy "reports" for health, curriculum, post-secondary, municipal spending, Allan inquiry,...)
  

mr biggs

Nice work if you can get it, misters national securities, FBI, RCMP, Mr Biggs. 1) I wonder whose idea it was to blow the fuck up a via train. 2) I wonder whose idea it was to blow up BC's legislative assembly, find some fucking idiot drug addicts to do it, Mr FBI Biggs.

Argument: There wouldn't actually be these terroribles if it weren't for Mr Biggs, sekyurity-partnerin high-rollin cash-throwin safe-house safe-mansion anonin moneybaggin dupin terror-makin and tax-dollars-workin mind-theatrin no chaos, supplyin.

Entrapment, nice work if you can get it. Business is booming. I'd reckon it's the same fucking guy. And the Cleveland occupy encampment bridge bombers. And the eco-terrorist, recently released (“Anna” was a pink-haired 17-year-old who the FBI recruited).

sona, bigbird, namebadge

And who is this witness?

Big Bird, Pierre Poutine name badge &Sona

I smell a diesel bus.

stand your ground

Guns, beer, romance, beer, family,
farm, whiskey, marriage and babies

George Canyon wants to be a Member of Parliament for the new federal riding of Bow River, southern Alberta. His campaign song: Stand Your Ground. So it's Florida or RCMP gun confiscation all over again. The canyon (b. Fred Lays) is from Nova Scotia.

In other news, the godfather is suing darth vader for $6 million. The federal government last year pledged $2.8 billion for flood relief, suppose some of it will be a transfer to the Defence Dept. for CF disaster relief costs.

'WESTERN HOSPITALITY'

"Supporting provincial and municipal governments during natural disasters in Canada has long been considered one of military’s most important missions." Not any more, suckas!


CBC's Kady O'Malley's funny pics!
Conservative Party policy convention,
November 2013

bear eats bear, navy ship hits navy ship

 Subject-Object Agreement

The grizzly bear ate the whole thing. Bear No. 122 and the little black bear.

En route to Hawai'i, during routine exercises, the destroyer HMCS (Her Majesty's Canadian Ship) Algonquin and supply ship HMCS Protecteur, collide. The fleet of .. now has a few gaps.

“Poison Stupid Donut Burger from Hell"

Dr. Berger, Toronto Public Health, investigates berger burger. Cronut poisonings at CNE (Canadian National Exhibition). A cronut has croissant-doughnut mix for a bun. 34 reported cases of foodborne illness.

Update cronuts in a jam: Maple bacon jam identified as culprit in more than 220 reported cases. Le Dolci, La Dolci, Canadian National Exhibit, Staphylococcus aureus toxin. (CTV) recipe: bacon, maple syrup, water and brown sugar, refrigerate. other CNE controversies when a Gucci bag is $20, ...

Domestic terrorist suspect, John Nuttall, now is a -> certified <- nutter. One of a pair who apparently planned to bomb the grounds of the B.C. Legislative Assembly on July 1st and who might have been given pressure cookers by Mr Biggs, RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) has certification and was transferred.

best of 2012

There are too many items from which to choose, so here's a list in the making.

1. Tory press statement at midnight. On Friday. It outdoes any other of its Friday media releases. (announcement: 163 words)
2.  Rob Anders. What does he do? And will he get a pension for it?
3. The beautiful game's match fixing. Canadian Soccer League (CSL): organized crime operating from a bar in Berlin and the advantages of avoiding the spotlight in lower leagues.
4. After imposing puzzling visa requirements for Mexicans (link, link and link) in 2009, the 'Harper' Conservative random expensive flipflop bobblehead changes its mind.
5. Shaw Communications learns a difficult lesson. In case of fire, it may not be a good idea to have a backup system in the same building.
6. Zoos: In Calgary, a penguin laid an egg, a dud, and an elephant miscarried. The Price Is Right guy wants to adopt the elephants (or is that Toronto's? or Edmonton's?), because it's too goddamn cold for elephants. It doesn't count as death, unless you're into zygote, fetus, ... er, ... animalhood.
7. Mall roof collapse in Elliot Lake, Ontario. Heavy Urban Search and Rescue was on scene, a program that incidentally received notice of budget cuts. The mall's owner, Robert Nazarian's lawyer with yipyap. How can a mall just collapse.
8. John Baird, Foreign Affairs Minister: Libya and ... Thomas Jefferson? -- not exactly referring to a Canucki, uh, but, uh, okay, at least Baird's not yelling.
9. Mary and Joseph announce a royal pregancy at Christmas time via morning sickness and what can possibly go wrong.
10. Don't worry. Nobody noticed that the 1812 video has the same name as David Orchard's book. (See #8.)
11. Mike Holmes, parade marshal for the 2009 Calgary Stampede, joins David Suzuki as a radical. ("The world is full of shady contractors who take shortcuts, use shoddy building practices or employ a band-aid approach...." hgtv.com (See #7.)
12. Automated, software journalism gains traction!
13. After amendments to the Local Government Act, BC's Jumbo gets a mayor, councillors. Jumbo has no residents. And Premier Christy Clark just cancels the fall session altogether.
14. Jason Kenney canceled an appearance with Nathan Jacobson, whose company in Tel Aviv, Paygea, processed payments for online gaming and adult websites. John Baird was also Jacobson's buddy and yet another dear friend got a bid. I guess the cosmetics dudes and dudettes went home / home. (Wikileaks Dead Sea minerals thingy, the financing of settlers, West Bank resources, scam&spam locksmiths.)
15. Amanda Michelle Todd is harrassed, extorted to death.
16. Vic Toews: the gun registry costs were either a million or a billion dollars.
17. The PM confounds everyone by announcing domestic policy in Davos, Switzerland (pensions) at the World Economic Forum.
18. Niagara is one of the two and final cultural capitals: $1.625m  for 1812 activities. Canadian officials select California-based Hornblower to provide boat tours, replacing American-owned Maid of the Mist Steamboat Company that operated at the falls since 1846. Calgary, the other, celebrates with an Enbridge, Nexen, Cenovus sort of Feel-the-Energy (get it?) orchestra playing a Russian, anti-Napoleonic 1812 Overture (get it? it's a nifty tie-in).
19. Canada's parliamentary budget officer wonders about the government's economic projections and whether budget cuts are even .... necessary.
20. CKUA gets a new building, then loses the news department.
21. Shell blames the whole Nigerian Delta mess on vandals. 
22. Calgary detective, Gerard Brand, of the "God Squad," gets busted for using the police database to sell Manila Capital Limited names, addresses and phone numbers. (more: rottenapples.info and what the HarryHackl is the Professional Standards Division) 
23. The Great Lakes fruit and blossom catastrophe. The US drought. Isaac, Sandy. Another 1 million bees die. First stage of new sarcophagus at Chernobyl’s nuclear power station. (Don't worry about Fukushima or other nuclear plants!) The Mississippi dries up, salt brine sinkholes out of control.
24. Omnibus B.S. http://local949.blogspot.ca/search/label/budget1812
25. Colorado wildfires. 
26. Assassination attempt on Pauline Marois and the participants at a Parti Québecois victory party: Métropolis. "The English are rising up!'yelled the well-armed man in a bathrobe. (Sept 4) “there’s going to be f------ payback.” One dead, one injured. 
27. It was learned that the fellow who beheaded his seat mate on a Greyhound bus in 2008 did so because it was an alien. (He's schizophrenic.) Apparently a year earlier, Greyhound announced a plan to enhance security, i.e. video, luggage inspections like airports do.
28. The long-gun registry vote. Gun fans cheer. Murder suicides. a) Not long before celebrations (the demise of long gun registry), a young man from Lethbridge tailed his ex-gf on the highway, killing her, the two male friends and injuring another girl, who crawled away and moved back to PEI, the one who made it home for. b) Family of three found in a ditch near St. Walburg, Sask.
29. The No's. The CRTC rejects Bell's $3.4-billion takeover of Astral Media. Bell says, N-o-o-o-! Dammit! we's a'gonna talk to Cabinet. Budget Rent-A-Car receives an order to stop photocopying customers' drivers licences, so it continues to take photocopies. (Also, Budget-Rent-A-Car has a cool appraisal scheme with itself for windshield and ding "repairs.") An Ontario Superior Court judge orders a by-election in Etobicoke Centre where Liberal MP Borys Wrzesnewskyj lost by only 26 votes. Conservative MP/"MP" Ted Opitz to the judge: No, and Supreme Court.
30. The Potato Incident with Calgary Alderman John Mar and 20 of his closest friends & sirens.
31. Machismo? Spanish Minister of Tourism (Balearic Islands, incl. Ibiza, Majorca, Minorca, and Formentera) poses with deer testicles on his head.
32. Oops. Critically endangered leatherback sea turtle nests are destroyed by bulldozers in Trinidad, a popular tourist destination for leatherback sea turtle nests. 
33. Not only does Google charge Project Glass guineau pigs $1,500, but the guineau pigs pay! 
34. Big Ben is re-gifted by the House of Commons Commission to honour the Queen of England's Diamond Jubilee. 
35. Six Italian seismologists and a government official (L'Aquila seven) are sentenced to six years in jail for manslaughter. 
36. Bitchslappin' members of parliament, Greece, on-air debate.  
37. Tom Flanagan waxing idiotic about Canada's founding fathers. (See #10.)
38. In a time of Ozterity, let us... poof! change the name of ... a national museum.
39. John Herrera-Garcia (Jan 19, 1963 - Sept 11, 2012), baptized in honour of American president John F. Kennedy and the eighth son in a family of 11 children, dies after a May 23rd beating and kicking by Neo-nazi 1 (Garrett Elliot Lee Smith), Neo-nazi 2 (Chantelle Tiffany Campbell) and Neo-nazi 3 (Jarod Donald Henry). Update, Jan 25/13 "Last of accused granted bail"
40. Court delays in Alberta lead to sex assault charges dropped. A man charged in the bombing death of a young Innisfail woman was a family friend, her financial advisor and former RCMP.
41. Clark Kent quits newspaper job. 
42. Lost in the harlemhooplas this-1812-cultureCAPwhatnot, CalgaryStampedeNation100 and that-Encanada-Franco-airhead-whatnot is one measly article about Alberta Parks' 80th anniversary, that's all the interwebs wrote. (See #18.)
43. One of the world's creepiest men presents a reward an award to Canada's prime minster, who delights, was recognized, nearly breaks his face grinning. Christopher Hitchens is dead.
44. Conrad Black gets a permit. 
45. A Canadian PM goes up north to have private, exclusive lunches with party faithful, supporters only. Another PM had gonads to walk among protestors, kick up some dust. Oh man, ATVs, vroom vroom.
46. Peter Manbridge's Franklin Expedition propaganda tour. 
47. Suicide nets installed at Apple's Foxconn factories.
48. JP Morgan estimates that €15bn of €410bn aid to Greece went into its economy - the rest went to um, creditors. 
49. In August the Province of PC-Alberta cancels funding for Fort Macleod RCMP training centre, several months after a money's-no-object election campaign. The Solicitor General’s website stated one year ago that the “$122 million training centre will play a critical role in ensuring consistent, state-of-the-art recruit training and ongoing professional development for law enforcement, corrections and public security personnel in Alberta.” Oops, the town spent $3.5+ million running service lines in preparation for the facility. How nice it was.



Proposed design for the Alberta Public Safety and
Law Enforcement Training Centre.

50. After a fake citizenship and reaffirmation ceremony that was broadcast on TV by Quebecor's Sun Media last year, Immigration Minister Jason Kenney blames ... bureaucrats® and Adscam!® and refugees® and
51. Parliamentary secretary to the PM, Dean Del Mastro, is confused about Jeffs.

More to follow!

lisa raitt: strikes are sexy

Never mind about the AECL Candu binder; it wasn't the same as Maxime Bernier (Beauce) and the tits cleavage biker chick NATO files. Never mind about the sexy isotope shortage for cancer patients. Never mind about no one signing off on the CEO, Toronto Port Authority expenses or a $9000 lunch. And just never mind about proroguing (and even more proroguing, forty days and forty nights). btw, are MPs 'essential services'?

Geez. Electro-Motive plant in London (now closed) and its Caterpillar parent strike in Joliet, Illinois. Canada Post. Air Canada flight attendants. Pilots. Mechanics ("flying coffins" & Aveos outsourcing), baggage handlers, cargo agents. Canadian Pacific Railway and Pershing Square's 14.2% equity stake.

Welp. Saskatchewan essential services legislation deemed unconstitutional (07 Feb. 2012).

Recalibration: On January 19, 2010, Raitt moved from the Ministry of Natural Resources to the Labour Ministry.

The house was beginning to shake,
And good press it just did not make.
So Steve shut it down, Caused the country to frown. But then he was
saved by a quake.  

Nuclear workers: 900 scientists, engineers, technologists and technicians said 94+ per cent of members sanctioned the strike action on Thursday, May 3rd 2012: a stinging indictment of SNC-Lavalin's cavalier management style and brinkmanship bargaining. A union spokeswoman said Candu is looking to gut most parts of the collective agreement.

Ongoing: RCMP officers want to end a ban, in place since 1918, on Mounties forming a union or police association and having the right to collectively bargain. (Toronto Star, Nov 20, 2012.) "Toxic workplace": Mounted Police Professional Association of Canada (MPPAC), a merger of BC and ON associations, is expecting a ruling from the Ontario Court of Appeal in spring 2012.

Lay-offs: Canadian Space Agency. 100 staff and more to come? Speaking of SNC-Lavalin Defence Programs Inc. (AECL) and MacDonald Dettwiler and Associates Inc., there's now a signed contract "to extend operational services for up to eight years for the Canadian Department of National Defence’s twelve Kingston-class Maritime Coastal Defence Vessels...Although their primary mission is coastal surveillance, the vessels perform a wide variety of operational tasks including search and rescue, fisheries and environmental monitoring, disaster relief, mine countermeasures and scientific research."

Does this make sense? The entire program of lay-offs in the public service is expected to cost Canadian taxpayers more than $2 billion.

Weird: Health care workers in Alberta have not had the legal right to strike since 1983.